omg i need help why is my daughter doing this?!?

Question

My daughter is 13 years old. ever since she was 9 she started acting mean. She sad shut up to me everytime i gave her a lecture on how to behave wen she was 10-11 but now she curses at me and shes like SHUT THE ***** UP mom i dont care! stop talking to me (then she runs up to her room and slams the door) and whenever i scream at her she says shut up now or i will call child abuse!
i am sick and tired of this. she has no manners what so ever. and sometimes when i go to work she is supposed walk to the bus to skool but sometimes she ditches school and i cant frive her because my work starts at 6 and her bus comes at 6 40 so i cant take her. i rly need help!

Answer 1

I feel your pain. I have a 14 year old daughter. She started her period at 10 so I think that's why it got started so young. We do counseling. It really does help! I also took a few parenting teenager classes that helped too. My daughter stresses out very easily about school and friends. It's easy to take it out on Mom, because she know you'll forgive her. Try the counselling for sure though it may help prevent further problems in the future. I hope this helps. And hang in there, one day she'll be your sweetheart again!

Answer 2

Your daughter has been doing what you've allowed her to do for the last four years, & that is to talk to you so horribly. Her behavior at the age of 9 should have stopped right there. You let her get away with it, so trying to do something now is going to be very difficult. You're compounding the problem by screaming at her. That accomplishes nothing & has made the situation even worse. No child of mine would ever speak to me as your daughter speaks to you, especially using that "four letter" word. She needs her mouth slapped for that. You need to sit down with your daughter & really talk to her & find out what's troubling her. Let her talk, don't interrupt, & you'll find out what's going on. It's as though she's very angry at you for something. Was there a divorce or something traumatic that took place years ago? Even if the answer is no, she has pent up anger issues that need to be brought out into the open. You'll get nowhere by screaming at your daughter. You're doing it so your daughter thinks it's okay to do it to you. She has no manners? Well, she needed to learn them as a toddler but it's not too late. It won't happen overnight but with a lot of patience & love, it will all work out. When she skips school, ground her for a week. She needs to be taught that she can't do whatever she wants to do. Ask her how summer school sounds to her & tell her that's what will happen if she doesn't go to school each day. She may be running with a bad crowd & a change there is necessary but all in good time. Sometimes children act as your daughter does, as a cry for help. She may not feel loved, needed, or accepted in school or in the crowd she hangs out with.At that age, it could be most anything. Try some patience & understanding when dealing with your daughter. When was the last time you went up to her & hugged her & gave her a kiss, & told her you loved her? She needs that in her life. Good luck!!!

Answer 3

I have a daughter who is 7 and has bad attitude yes she has told me to F off a few times.



when this first happend I wanted to yell at her and give her a lecture, but then I sent her to her room for 7 minutes and sat down and thought how could my daughter talk to me like this? then I realised that I had been being mean to her and using lots of swear words that she had picked up on and so she was swearing. so I decided that io shouldnt try to change her behaviour but my own.



children of 13 often dont want to do what they are told they are testing the boudaries, and often by ditching school and acting up they are crying out for attention positive not negative. and it is hard because if you dropped her to school she would just probably leave anyway.



The best place to start to start would be to do a postive parenting course, this gives you ideas and skills you can use to help not only change your daughters behaviour but the way you deal with it. you can get this information from your local child health nurse or local child health centre.



you could also try finding out about the big brother big sister program that can help kids at risk. I dont know the contact details sorry.



but good luck.

Answer 4

My little cousin did this, I convinced her mom to let me have her for about a month to straiten her out. She's being good now.

The first thing you have to do is stop yelling, she'll only think she isn't being heard and yell too. Next, take a leave of absence from work for a week (its worth your daughters life) and the first day she's at school, go to her room and take absolutly everything out except a matress(take her bed off the frame) 1 pillow, and 1 blanket. Take away a computer(she doesn't need it for school they have them there) her clothes (they are privelges and she can wash the ones she's wearing for tomorow) books, toys, everything! Oh, and by the way that door she keeps slaming take it down and hang a drape. Oh, and don't tell her your going to do this just do it. won't work if you tell her. The next day, go to every single class with her, tell her if you can't trust her to go to school, you'll just have to go with her to make sure she gets there.

I know this sounds harsh, but look at it this way. Its your job to make sure she can function in society, with this attitude she can't. She's going to get into drugs, alcohol, sex if she continues on this path. This is an extreme situation, take extreme measures.

Answer 5

Obviously there was no discipline in the home when she was a small child. You can't fix it now that you have allowed this behavior to go on for 13 years and she is now in puberty. Funnny but I don't know of any parent who doesn't know how to spell the word sChool though...

Answer 6

you know what, with the cps business, my friends daughter actually DID call cps and she got taken away and it took her 6 months to get her back...and when she finally got her back the daughter was so nice because she understood how good she had it (ps she can't call CPS because she you were talking to her so i don't see where she is going with that.) but her behavior=PUBERTY and i am so sorry to tell you this but she is probably skipping school and doing...well doing not so good things...i may be wrong and i REALLY REALLY hope i am but that is just a guess. + girls are you know whats lets face it we all are but i don't know what to do, i hope Ive helped though maybe you can get ideas of what to do for my reasons?!



YOU LIAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!! adults don't spell "omg,skool,frive,rly"

nice job tho i have to admit it...you had me fooled until i read some other peoples comments then i read it again and noticed everything....i know im slow...DON'T JUDGE ME!!! haha

Answer 7

I know it is hard, my daughter is 12. You really have to get down to her level and talk with her. All she hears is yelling and whether or not you are the right one, the yelling is all she remembers and repeats within her head.

There may just be other issues going on, but you are not going to get her to talk to ou and confide in you by yelling at her, you are just promoting this continuing, growing issue.

I know its hard, in a way as a parent you feel like you are in the wrong. The important thing is not what you feel at the moment, but how you can fix the problem and ultimately get your daughter out of this rut.

If it comes down to it, you can seek counseling - be sure though not to make it seem like it is her fault. This can cause a guilt trip and may make things worse, at least at first.

Best of luck!!

Answer 8

SHE"S NOT A MOM. EVERYONE FOLLOW THIS LINK TO HER QUESTION?



https://answersrip.com/question/index?qid=20080210113830AAkt4Fc

Answer 9

she's just doing what her friends are doing at school, and most kids start cursing around the house and at school because they here their parents/guardians do it, or their friends do it. tell her its not nice and she should stop. if it doesn't work just take everything away from her that she obsesses over constantly. her phone, the computer, iPod/mp3 player, or computer. then she'll learn not to curse or else everything she likes will be taking away from her

Answer 10

Find a hobby, kid. You gave it away when you typed "rly". It's actually spelled r-e-a-l-l-y.





Oh, this helped to give it away too:



https://answersrip.com/question/index?qid=20080221193913AARQ3Qe





Rly big problem! and i will vote for best answer?

Ok.

My little sister,

shes 8 yrs old.

We sleep in bunkbeds

but the thing is we both got adopted

to the same parents.

the problem is our parents hate us so

we just found out my lil sis had lice and

mii step parents are reallllllly scared of bugs and all that stuff

so now they dont even wanna come near her and she has to spend her hole time in the basment

i feel soooo bad for her. they dont even let me go near her untill she stops having lice. im trying to convince them they need to do something about it cuz it wont get away on its own.

helppppp??? i feel rly bad for mi sis shes only 8 and btw im 11

Answer 11

well this atitude is cause mostly because of stres mybe you should try to talk to her nicly and without screaming or if not send her to the psicologist .



you could also cut her comunication

phone

internet

tv

feed her healthier

maker go to bed earlier and practice some sport this could help with stres

Answer 12

Do you have a husband? If so, why is he not helping? And if you don't, i think she is missing out on a father figure. You need to take her along to a course for parenting. There are courses around, so just look and try reading a few books on parenting. It sounds like a bit of a phase. Don't worry. You should also contact her school and see if she is doing okay in class, or if there are any bullies or anything. She might just be taking her anger out on you. But you can't shout at her, or she will lose respect for you. Stay calm and talk to her like she's an adult (: Good luck.

Answer 13

13 is a really difficult age. There are so many pressures on girl her age. I suggest you talk to your family doctor and see if he thinks counseling of some sort might be appropriate. In the mean time hang in there and try to maintain your cool.

Answer 14

Your daughter is most likely not well-behaved when she was younger and has made it a habit but it's not too late. Counseling will do the trick.

Answer 15

do something what you should of done when she was 9.

take her across you knee and give her a well deserved spanking. If she acts like a little spoiled child treat her

like one.

Answer 16

wow..she really started early...usually this kind of behavior doesn't begin until 12 or 13. Just understand that this...unfortunately...is the natural progression of adolescence. They have to separate from their parents, and the best way to do this is to be rebellious. just be patient, understand that she doesn't mean it and instead of fighting back with her just be firm and set the rules, then give her consequences for breaking them. it is hard, but it doesn't last forever! good luck..

Answer 17

Your daughter is doing it because you allow her to do it without any obvious consequence. Screaming at your kids is not child abuse. When she acts this way, take away privileges, ground her. She needs a consequence for her actions and if this continues she is going to only get worse.

Answer 18

so are you 11, are you 12, are you 13, or are you the mom of a 13 year old? you're such a phony...you're probably a thirty-eight year old man named "Bubba." I've seen your other questions.

Answer 19

take away privileges, just make the only point of her life school! She'll bad-mouth you at school, of course, but try to talk to her later and just make pleasant conversation! Remember: If you make rules you have to be around to enforce them or they won't be followed.

Answer 20

I say good for your daughter. What are you doing to make her act that way? It must be your fault. She's only 13.

Answer 21

i am 13, so heres my opinion .

you let it get this far, so you can fix it.

ive told my mom that id call child abuse, but in my heart i know i wont.



and she might have reasons for being upset?

like are you paying her enough attention?

ask her if you could like take her shopping or something .



she could have bipolar disorder, or you could take her to anger manegment .



hope that helps :)

Answer 22

YOU'RE A PATHETIC EXCUSE FOR A PARENT IF YOU LET SOME ILL MANNERED CHILD OF YOURS BE HEAD OF THE HOUSEHOLD. GROW A BACKBONE AND PU YOUR FOOT DOWN. TAKE HER TO THE POLICE STATION AND LET HER GET LOCKED UP FOR A NIGHT OR TWO. SEND HER TO BOOTCAMP IF YOU HAVE TO. YOUR THE DAMN PAERNT, NOT HER!!!!

Answer 23

i think...its because shes a teenager



you just need to scare her a little bit



tell her its got to stop, because its not normal behaviour and she needs to learn some manners



tell her that you'll send her to a boot camp or to get counselling or something if she doesn't behave



if she still doesn't listen to you, send her to a counsellor, and tell her that she needs to sort out her attitude



if she still doesn't listen, tell her friends that shes seeing a counsellor because of behavioural issues. it will embarass her



and if none of that works, tell her you've had enough and you're sending her to boot camp



maybe it sounds harsh, but it works

Answer 24

yeah, this doesn't sound like it was written by the mother of a teenager. would a mother really say "OMG" and "i rly need help!" so yeah. you do need help for impersonating a mother..? or you have way too much time on your hands?

Answer 25

how someone will not be-leave something like that? am talking to the person who leave the first answer on your page. I think that u should see a counselor and punish her to let her know that u r her mother and she is the child has,she has to learn how to respect you.You brought her here not her.?

Answer 26

at school mabey they teach her this stuff! shes obviously the boss of you.dont let her.you scream and take the phone away. no phone,tv,friends, anything!

Answer 27

record her voices and spank her and if she calls the child abuse let them listen to the voices recorded. she needs to be grounded and followed by a very strict nanny.

Answer 28

typical teenage behavior. if she gets too out of hand send her to a juvenile facility for a little while. maybe that can straighten her up. her behavior is unacceptable and let her know it. she may have some sort of chemical imbalance as well. try therapy. don't give up and good luck

Answer 29

i would say......she needs counsling....and its not child abuse really until you touch her......truthfully sounds like she needs some screaming at.....but if it was me i would go to counsling with her......and take some anger management classes...on weekends......it would be hard to fit into your schedule but probably worth it in the end........i dont know why she does it , it could be stress, or anything that comes to mind when you think high school.......its hard to tell

Answer 30

she's at her rebel stage. there must be something going on in school or something. you can't really do anything about it but let her know YOU are the boss around here and take control of her. but do know that if you get meaner on her, she will get tougher on you. it's fighting fire with fire. you have to scare her a bit to let her know how the real world is like. or idk lol

Answer 31

your daughter needs you to give here space you just need to talk to her and take her and a friend to a movie and you should take her on a mom dauhter day talk to her and ask her wat is going on you are going to have to understand her and be a teen again at this age kids that age mess and have wild fun be her friend and be cool if you need more help e-mail me [e-mail]

Answer 32

sounds like your child is gonna need some counselling

Answer 33

ok, first, take the door off the hinges,

and she really cant proove that your abusing her if your not

than when she hells at you

give her the meanest scoul

ant tell her to shut the **** up right back



dont take **** from yr kids

Answer 34

i can't help you with that but just to let you know, your not alone. thats exactly what my cousin does.

Answer 35

https://answersrip.com/question/index?qid=20080221193913AARQ3Qe





HELLO??????????



I recognized you, Darling, Some people take this seriously.

Answer 36

bring her to a military school or bording school and do whats best for her even if its only for a year or to but it will help her if your worried about her

Answer 37

its just a phase

Answer 38

2 words:



Boot camp.



Or is that 1 word?

Answer 39

Clearly she wasnt disciplined properly when she was younger, now its too late to do anything because she sounds like a nightmare. Perhaps you can try counselling.

Answer 40

ok, so you're the one with the problem... LEARN TO RESPECT YOUR MOTHER, you ungrateful brat.

Answer 41

she needs some belting...

let her call child abuse...

its only this bad, cos you let it get to this.

she needs some belting and a good punishment.

Answer 42

I dont believe you.

Answer 43

wow @_@