My son is in kindergarten & I walk him in everyday. ?

Question

They haven't said anything to me about it yet but they did my sister last year and it said in the school newsletter that children should be walking in by themselves at this point (3rd wk of school) He is shy-doesn't know anyone in the school and today is the first day he hasn't cried. I see nothing wrong with walking him in. I say a quick goodbye to him and I leave. If they say something to me I want to be prepared to take up for myself but not be rude. any suggestions

Answer 1

I feel the same way you do. I have 5 children and they are all so very shy. Some kids are just a little more timid about things like this. They will eventually grow out of it, but for now it is your responsibility to take care of your children and see that they are safe and comfortable. You are doing a great thing by walking your son to his classroom. I don't see how they could not let you do this. If they tell you something, I would nicely ask to talk to the principal or someone higher above and explain to them what you are doing and why. I would not allow them to tell you that you are not allowed to walk him to class. If anything you maybe should consider homeschooling him if at all possible. That is what I do and it is wonderful!!

Answer 2

Walking in the door of the school or the classroom? I can understand the rule about the classroom, they want the children to come in and get started. They don't want parents lingering around, and quick goodbyes are better.



Just start to follow the rule if they say anything to you. Be compliant for you andf your son's sake. Independence, and little steps are great. Make a new fun routine for you and your son outside of the classroom. My daughter and I always did a little handshake that ended with a kiss.

Answer 3

If there are no teachers around in the hall, and the only teacher who is there is busy helping kids and their backpacks get out of cars, I would be very concerned. Concerned for the safety of my kid. I would request the school office to make sure parents are not allowed beyond a certain area. And for parents whose kids need a parent to walk them till outside their classroom - they can be accomodated by having such parents go to the office, sign in as visitors and get a visitor-pass.



My response might not be popular, but this is from a parent who is not comfortable having other parents around my kid when there is no teacher or school staff to supervise.



I think 1 week or 2 weeks is late enough to start enforcing the walk-by-yourself, at the same time allowing parents of kids needing more time to get a visitor pass from the office, everyday.



I can understand your situation and that you are trying to cut down on it, but my reply might help you understand the reason if/when the school newsletter says that students should be walking in by themselves.



I read the other responses saying "it is your right to walk your child", and "insist" on doing it, but how would it be if a lot of parents decided to walk their kid till the classroom? Kids who see you walking your child till the door might be asking their parents why they don't do the same? Al these issues might be the reason for the school's policy.

Answer 4

I don't think there's anything wrong with you walking him in. Next week is the first time my kindergartner is supposed to walk in by himself. (They've been lining up outside for the past 2 weeks.) I plan to at least walk him to his hallway and watch him go into his classroom. If I don't, I know he'll probably get lost- he just tends to follow whoever is in front of him. I don't feel comfortable with my 5 year old wandering the halls aimlessly, especially with tons of kids that are bigger than him. If they say anything to you just tell them that you aren't comfortable leaving him there until you KNOW that he's made it safely to his classroom. So until he's been there a little longer and he's feeling more confident going in by himself, you'll be there. Don't let them push you around, he's your son and you have every right to make sure he's safe & sound before you leave. =]

Answer 5

I'd deal with the not knowing anyone at the school part so that you can also give him some more independence. Invite a kid from school over to play some afternoon. It's certainly scary when you don't know anyone, but the easy fix for that is to have some familiar faces.



My elementary aged kids were all desperately shy (really, I mean desperately) in kindergarten, so I certainly understand about that. But I did want to convey to them that I had total confidence they could handle things and be fine. It certainly won't kill a kid to be walked to the classroom door, but it's empowering for them to do it themselves (and for them to see that you think they can do it).



I wonder if it really matters much to your son whether he's dropped off at the door to the school or the door to the classroom? Has he said so? Even a shy kid can walk down a hallway, and he'll be doing it for the rest of the day without you. Is it possible it just makes you feel better to walk him, especially if he's visibly upset? It's a big transition for the parents from preschool, where parents usually are free to go in the classroom, to "big kid" kindergarten, where one of the primary things kids are learning is age-appropriate independence -- from opening their own lunch containers and putting on their own snowsuits, to walking down the hall to their classroom. I know with my first child I'd drop her off and then sneak around and peek through the window to make sure she got to her classroom, lol. But it was my issue, not hers. You know your son and when he's ready, and if he's really not ready by all means tell that to the teacher, but make sure as soon as he is ready (which might be before he thinks he is) you give him the favor of that kind of independence.



[And I admit this is all rather hypocritical of me, because my fourth grader has been walking my kindergartener to her classroom for the first three weeks of school. It's the fourth grader who's really into it, lol. But I do make a point of letting them both know that it's fine to walk together if they want, but that the younger one is totally capable of doing it by herself.]

Answer 6

I'm surprised they have not said something to you already, but each school is different. For my son's first day last year in kindergarten they said we had to do the "kiss and good-bye method" where you kiss and say your good-byes in the car or at the door and we were not able to take them inside since it's said to be more dramatic for the child if the parent never cuts the cord. In your case though, if you say your son is still crying and not able to do it on his own 3 weeks into the school year, (have you tried to let him walk in by himself and maybe you stay at the door?) then I would just tell the school just exactly that. Tell them he's still having a little anxiety about going into school on his own. Just make sure it's really his anxiety and not your own. Good luck.

Answer 7

You should encourage him to go in alone but I think if he isn't comfortable then you should walk him in. I was walking my son in the 1st week, helped him put his bag up and said goodbye. I only walked him in twice this week and now he wants to walk by himself like all the other kids so I just drop him off in the carpool line. I think every kid is different. My son never went to pre-k, but he's turning 6 in a few days so he's the big kid in class and caught on fast. I can imagine the little ones are still scared. He'll start wanting to go alone.

Answer 8

I am going through the same thing as you. My little girl is only 4 and they are requesting that we not take them to class as of Monday. I want to totally buck the system. I mean who's Idea is it anyways to let little 4 or 5 year olds walk around a school by them selfs. They said her teacher couldn't meet them because she doesn't come in till 10 minutes before school starts. Well have them come in earlier or let me walk her to class I say. She's only 4! scared kids walking everywhere. It's not right I say... just not right.

Answer 9

I feel you should be able to walk him in. Who is anyone else to say when your son "should" be ready to walk in by himself. Do as you feel is best for your child. He already is gaining lots of independence by just going to kindergarten and he didn't cry today-GREAT accomplishment! Once he starts feeling more comfortable let him lead the way so you know that he knows the way to his classroom. Then start saying your good byes a little further from the door . If they say anything to you just kindly say he isn't ready. Try to be friendly for your sons sake but remember your the mom and you outrank them!

Good luck. =0)

Answer 10

I would slowly begin this because the school may soon say that you are not allowed in the building due to security measures for keeping people out who do not belong. You son needs to start becoming responsible and independent. Do you pick him up outside the classroom door as well?

Answer 11

I would keep walking up---especially since there are stairs.

(I am guessing you are not in the US??? Where I live you can't have a kindergarten on any floor but the first floor.)



If they say something, I would reply "I am doing what I think is most appropriate for my child at this time."



If they push, then ask them what they have done to determine that your child is ready to do this and comfortable doing this at his stage of development. Stress that you want him to feel school is a wonderful place and you are trying to make him feel comfortable there.



Ask for suggestions for easing his transition to walking alone. Maybe find a buddy and have them walk together???.

Answer 12

They most likely wont say anything because he has cried for the first few weeks. It is normal for them to need time adjusting to new people and surroundings. My son cried everyday for a month! So if they say something remember he is YOUR child , as long as you aren't disrupting the class they should be understanding.

Answer 13

ask the teacher what she thinks. when i taught kindergarten i didn't mind as long as the parent didn't linger BUT, you will have to stop soon (as in a few weeks) so start weaning him now. walk him to the classroom before his for a few days, then just to the office door (whatever works logistically) eventually drop him off where his teacher has them line up. i know how hard it can be to leave your baby crying at school.

You might want to ask yourself, are you walking him for his sake or yours? good luck

Answer 14

By the third week of school, your son should be walking inside with his class by himself. You need to break him of this. Today was the first day he didn't cry - great. Now start walking him in every other day. To be honest, I'm surprised no one has said anything yet. At our school, a teacher or two helps all the kids inside and there's no way a mom could ever get by them.



So my question is why isn't he in line with his class and you saying goodbye to him when the class starts walking in - or is this not how it goes at your school?

Answer 15

I think that you put it very well right here.



"He is shy - doesn't know anyone in the school and today is the first day he hasn't cried'.



In the meantime, give some thought to cutting back the walk ins.

Answer 16

It should be no problem for you to walk your son in. Now if he was in 4th grade, then that's too old. But for a kindergardener, then you're fine. If anyone stops you, explain that your son is shy, and that you're not gonna hang around.

Answer 17

I like your strategy.

I dont understand why they made up that silly rule.

Each day,drop in off the little farther away each day but

not alot. Before you go, You should say something that will

make him happy and looking forward to the end of the day.

like "When you get home, We could go to the icecream shop"

or something like that.





Hoped I helped!



Soap

( thats my nickname )

Answer 18

i dont see what the problem is in walking your child in. he is young and it is the beginning of school. some children adapt differently and at their own pace. as his mother you have the right to walk your child in. if he continues not to cry you know that he is beginning to feel more comfortable.

Answer 19

I would just kindly say "yes-that is our goal. It may take my shy son a little longer" If they insist then you may have to just insist right back. Your the mom. =0)

Answer 20

that you just want to make sure your son gets to school safe and no bullys or anybody picks on him.

Answer 21

walk him in as long as you want but you so have to break away soon because he does need to learn to be away from you and to go off and do things on his own. good luck