Should you let your six year old "win" when you play games against them?

Question

Recently my sister and niece came over to visit. Sis is about 34 and my niece is 6. I played air hockey against my niece and I got in a few points, but mostly let her win because it made her happy.

Then, my sister started playing against her and beating her pretty badly.

When they got down to the last point, she let her win.

Which method is better?

Answer 1

it's okay to let them win to build confidence and fun for the game but they do need to learn that winning isn't everything and they learn that by losing sometimes as well and learning to be a good sport.



When I play games with my kids, we always do a hand shake at the end and say "good game" no matter who won. Our motto is, "If you had fun, you won" so really there are no losers when you play to have fun rather to win. I tell my kids winning is just an added bonus to the fun we have playing the game.

Answer 2

I advise a book called "Incredible Years" it actually goes over game playing with children and how to help prevent them from being sore loosers. If a child picks an activity to do while no you don't have to let them win everytime to be happy, you should remember you are doing it for fun and not try to make the child feel horrible by beating them atleast not by much, it is best to play games that don't make such a big deal out of winning but instead just having fun. If a child is becoming upset while playing a game if they aren't winning then the game is no longer fun but instead just another competition. Really it would take all night to tell you everything in the book about game play with children so you might just want to read the book. I found the info great.

Answer 3

neither

you should let her win sometimes of course but don't let her win all the time.

she need to learn to be a good sport and not a sore looser.

even though she lost a couple times tell her that's fine it's OK just keep trying and do your best.

now a couple time doesn't mean two.

if you've played 14 times

you've won 7 or she's won 7 or you won 8 and she won 6

or the other way around but she shouldn't be a daddy's girl when she doesn't get her way.

she will think anythings hers

become spoiled and a nuisance



and very difficult to live with

Answer 4

Dear wondering Methods--



What is the big deal with letting children know how it feels to fail at some things sometimes? I dont get how we've become a society that is soooo sensitive to competition and failing that in doing so, we somehow crush a child's self esteem, having long-term psycological effects. We've created this fantasy world for kids that tells them they're AMAZINGLY GREAT at everything and that any type of effort is acceptable...but that's not REALITY, so I don't believe in that.



In the REAL WORLD everyone is not a winner.

In the REAL WORLD, people make mistakes and will fail at things.

In the REAL WORLD, some people will be better at some things than others.



That's just the way it is.



Why should we shelter children from learning the invaluable lesson of failue????



I don't get it.

So to answer the question, both methods SUCK!



If the child wins, she wins. If the child can't play worth a flip and loses, maybe it will motivate her to either become better at it or try something else that she's actually good at.



Because that's what people do in the REAL WORLD.

Answer 5

At this age she is going to start playing with other kids, not just family. She needs to start learning to lose with out having a melt down every time. You can still let her win sometimes so she stays interested but now is the time to let the real world in.

Answer 6

im with renee, let her win sometimes, but not all the time, there has to be a balance, a child needs to learn to be a good winner as well as a good loser in life.besides, whats the fun un playing if you know youre going to get beat EVERY time? give her something to play for, let her win part of the time, just let her know its not going to happen all the time, or youll have one of those kids what scream when they lose a game, and to me thats a very bad thing.

Answer 7

You never want to discourage a child. But you have to keep it real at the same time. Your sister's way is best. But don't let her win every time. She has to know that she can lose as well as win. And when she does win, show her how a good sport loses.

Answer 8

Ones that require strength and smarts, you should let her win a game, then you win a game, etc.



but games that are by chance (trouble, etc) she should learn to be a gracious loser.



i babysat this 7 year old girl who started screaming when i won air hockey(and no, i didn't rub it in her face. I said good game, you almost won!), saying that i played it wrong and she actually won. Timeout city right there haha.



anyway. thinking back to when i was little, i didn't care if my mom or dad or whoever won some. I actually thought it was fun to make them happy. But that was just me.



:)

Answer 9

U need to balance it out. Let her win sometimes because that can boost her confidence and self-esteem. But sometimes let her loose so she won't become a sore loser or expect to much of herself when she play against other people.

Answer 10

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Answer 11

i think you need a balance of both. winning will help the kid gain confidance, but letting her win all the time might also help her gain cockyness and arrogance too. losing isnt always bad for a child either.

Answer 12

You should let her win some to increase her confidence but not all of them as it could make her big headed and cocky xx

Answer 13

Let her win some to help build her self esteem. But not all of them.

Answer 14

let her win a couple games but try to beat her in a few sportsmanship

Answer 15

Advice for any game, especially intellectual ones...Let her win often enough to keep her interested, but let her lose often enough that she sees examples of skills she can develop.

Answer 16

I agree totally with the very first answer you got...:D only let her win sometimes...

Answer 17

yes let them win

Answer 18

let children get high self esteem just dont let them get cocky