My 19 year old daughter died in February. I own plot. Can I chose stone?

Question

I live in Pa. My 19 year old daughter died in an accident. Her father, my ex, insisted on chosing cemetery or he would have taken it to court and she wouldn't have gotten buried. He said I could chose her grave stone. Now, he won't let me get the stone I want. He's doing this out of hate and vengence. My lawyer never dealt with this and isn't sure if he has a say, or since I own the plot I can put whatever stone I want on her grave. It's a beautiful stone. He's just doing this out of hate and vengence.

Answer 1

Suggest you tell EX to go away,get lost,find a freeway to play on,or

mainly just piss off..This is my part of the deal..If you have a lawyer

already,get him served with anti harassment & infringement papers,

pronto..That way you can put the stone that you want,on your

Daughters burial site,with no interference from your EX..

My very best wishes for a calm & peaceful placement,of the stone you have picked for your Daughter..My heartfelt condolences for the loss of one so young..Should not be this way..Please stay strong..

Will say a prayer for you..All the best for the future..

Answer 2

I'd say get the stone you want. When my son died I had a similar issue with my ex. We were together at the time but after we broke up he threatened to have the body exhumed. I still don't know why! People can be very cruel. Your ex may be hurting very badly and is lashing out at you. Stand up for yourself and do what you need to do for you. You owe him nothing and he needs to be put in his place. It's a horrible thing for him to be so mean and hateful towards you. He obviously once cared for you. He's being disgusting. I'd call the cemetery and see what they say. I can't believe how mean people can be at times like this. I'm very sorry for your loss.

Answer 3

Kathy S: Some cemeteries have regulations in place that the head stones can only be so high so wide, and regulate even the flowers you can plant. Get a hold of the Sexton of said cemetery, and find out what their regulations, and requirements are first. I am so sorry to hear that even in this time of sorrow you can't both put aside your grievances. Be the bigger dear, and do as i say. We all have to answer to a higher authority when its all said and done.

Answer 4

Find out what the cemetary requirements are and as long as it is within the regulations, just get what you want. The owner of the plot controls everything to do with the stone and even who can be buried there. So you get to do what you want and there is really nothing he can do about it but yell.



I have been trying to get my grandmother's name added to the stone where she is buried but it is hard because some distant cousin owns the plot due to inheritance stuff and without their written consent we can't do anything. So it's all about ownership, nothing to do with relation to the person who is buried there.



So sorry that he is adding this stress to your grief.

Answer 5

well i think if your daughter is already buried then take him to court. I think your daughter is resting in peace now so its not an emergency to put on the stone right now. take him to court. I dont think b/c hes the father that he has the choice. I would think that you would if anything. Also, why is it such a big deal what stone she gets? I dont think it needs to be fancy or anything. I think all she needs is her name, and dates so ppl can know whos is whose. hope this helps. im sorry for your loss. god bless

Answer 6

As long as you own the plot and the stone is to the cemetery's regulations, you are free to do what ever you want.

Answer 7

You have to be a troll. She died in February and she still hasn't been buried?! Where is she-stuffed in a cooler or freezer somewhere?!



If this story holds even an ounce of truth, I would find a more competent lawyer.

Answer 8

i sure since you own plot you get to put stone to your liking. no offense but your ex is a total ***. how can he still be so hateful. it wasn't just him who lost her so did you. so sorry for your lost.

Answer 9

wow i cant believe he would be so insensitive about that =(

i would try talking to him and try 'reasoning' because you were both her parents, and she wouldnt want you fighting over her grave.

im sorry about your daughter, by the way =(

Answer 10

i doubt that he has anymore rights than you do, i'd just do it...

why would you have backed down in the first place?