My 7 year old daughter has been acting strange latley?

Question

She is almost 8 now but she has been changing a lot. She has been acting more independant and mature. But for this past 2 months she has been walking around grabbing herself. She will be playing and all of a sudden start grabbing herslef then pushing her legs together. Or she will just stand there and grab herself down there. She does this at dinner sometimes too. I adopted her when she was 2 but she has been used to it here. And she did not come from a family of abuse or anything. Her mother just couldn't afford to keep her. But does anybody have any ideas on what is ging on with her? I dont know how to approach her.

Answer 1

Well, as far as tha whole, independence part, i'm sure she's just starting to feel a lil older, sounds natural. Grabbing herself is a lil strange, but she may have a urinary tract infection, or may just be trying her hardest 2 hold in her pee, and i'm not trying 2 be funny.

Answer 2

i agree with the above answers as to the possibility that it could be an infection or irritation, but they dont generally last that long without the child approaching the parent.



have you told her about 'the birds and the bees' yet? if not, maybe now would be a good time to gently broach the subject with her. ask her what she knows about those things, and correct her knowledge. if she has been molested, the person who did it may have threatened her or to hurt people she loves, so if it is abuse, she will be scared to speak about it.

also, if she has been abused, she might have been told its some type of game, or exercise or something, so ask her if anyone has ever touched her down there, and if she gets scared or defensive, let her know she is safe, and that talking about it will make the person go away and stop what they are doing, and nobody will be hurt.



its normal for girls that age to start being more independent, again, with the above statements, she could simply be discovering her body and finding out what feels nice and what doesnt. its quite normal for girls that age to explore, but they generally dont know that its a private thing.



the best thing to do is talk to her in a comfortable setting. be gentle because if she has been molested she will be very scared to talk about it. the one thing to remember is to continually reassure her that she is safe, and you will protect her. that will make it easier for her to open up about anything that may be bothering her, and it will also let her know that its safe to talk to you about awkward things when shes older.

Answer 3

If your not quite sure how to approach the issue, I would do as someone else suggested, take her and politely ask, if everything is ok, if she is itchy or has pain or anything, if the answer is no, then just calmly explain that there times that she can do that, and it is natural to feel that way, and it's a part of growing up. but that needs to be done in private. The issue could be ranging or steming from a number of things.. medical to non medical.. but the calmer and more natural and prepared you are. It will affect her relating with you on such medical/sexual issues later. If she can come to you about anything now, hence she may do so in the future.. But one thing.. is not to make her feel guilty in anyway, kids can sense uncomfortableness.. :)



Also, I have heard of another child, of a friend of mine who started having similar behavior, she had a urinary tract infection, and the feeling like she had to use the restroom was quite painfull..



good luck to you!!

Answer 4

She could be itchy, have a UTI, or more commonly, a yeast infection. I got lots of yeast infections when I was little, and I did this alot.



She also could just be exploring. Getting used to it. Discovering. Shes just getting used to her body, and the way different things feel. She could also be doing it to explore her boarders, or limits with you. She might not know if this is exceptable or not, and so she's testing it out.



But I would get her checked out at the doctor for that yeast infection, and just try talking to her. Ask her if it's itchy, if it hurts, etc. She's old enough to tell you what she's doing and why. Then go from there.



Good luck, hope this helps.

Answer 5

Girls can have orgasms even as babies. (Indian moms often do this to get the child to sleep) So that's probably why, she just likes the feeling. What you have to do is talk to her about sex and privacy she apparently is old enough. The thing is she is probably doing that at school and eventually CPS will come knocking on your door. Can you account for where she is 24 hours a day, you're sure no one could be sexually touching her?



As to how to approach her - next time she does it just ask her. What are you doing? If she doesn't know what to say be suspicious if she says it itches or something.You'll know



But your the parent right? Maybe you are not close as you need to be because my mom would have grilled me the first time she saw it.

Answer 6

It could be alot of things. One being that she might have to pee, and doesnt want to take the time to get up and go. Some kids do this even after being potty trained for a long time..

She could be having pain down there. I think the only way to figure it out would be to first ask her why she is doing it. maybe she feels wierd about asking you, so you should ask her lightly. then take her to the doctor if it is something you know nothin about.

Answer 7

Hmm.. well you can look at possible medical issues. IE: yeast infection, skin irritation (from clothing or detergents.. and is too embarred to talk with you about it.



She chould be hitting puberty and the changes in her body might be drawing her attention down there.



If I were you in that situation... I would simply ask if there was something wrong. Mention that you have noticed her grabbing herself down there and you want to make sure that she isn't in pain or uncomfortable. If she hesitates, Tell her that there is nothing to be embarassed she never should feel ashamed about her body and offer yes or no questions for information. I would never elaborate at 8 with something that personal... but I would nod or shake my head to direct questions.



IE: Does you girl parts or vagina (whatever she is used to hearing) hurt?

Did someone hurt you?

Do you itch?

Are you bleeding down there?



Best of luck!

Answer 8

Well you can always just ask her. Of course I myself learned about sex physically when I was 7 from my puberty bound cousin. Not to mention many of my school mates knew about it too, either from their family members or a magazine. I'm not really thinking this sex-related though. It could be just a habit, we've all grabbed ourselves when we was very young, as infants we were told we looked cute doing it, but when we age, a parent gets worried. Makes no sense to me frankly. She just probably does it as a habit from either self influence (like holding her urine in for a long time that she needs to grab herself to ease the pain, among other examples.) or a picture, ect, I am sure it's not really something to worry about, but the only thing you can really do to find out is ask her really.

Answer 9

Take her to the pediatrician. She may have a urinary infection. And talk frankly to the pediatrician without the child present and tell him or her what your concerns are. The pediatrician may find out it is a urinary infection, a very common thing and easy to treat, but if it is not, you need to think about how safe the child is from abuse. Her safety is what is most important. But above all, I think it could be an allergy (perhaps to laundry detergent you're using or the fabric in her garments) or a simple infection that can be treated with antibiotics. She will probably have to pee in a cup for the doctor to send the urine to a lab.

Answer 10

Well as far as you know it she didnt come from an abusiva family.. if thats the case maybe your husband or a relative is messing with her. no child just holds thier and closes thier legs. it has to be traumatic. or on another note she could have a urinay infection see the doctors

Answer 11

The next time she does it, talk with her in private and ask her why. Like most kids her age, she might just say I dont know. Make an appointment with her doctor and have her looked at. It might be a UTI.

Answer 12

My Daughter who is 6 1/2 has always had problems with irritation and Urinary Tract Infections and this is exactly what she does. I suggest getting her looked at. Also you can just have her put some Neosporin or vaginal cream on it herself. My Daughter feels so much better. Sometimes it can even be pants or her undies that irritate her.

Answer 13

It may be a stage. wait a little more. if it continues, it there may be something wrong "down there". Infection , rashes, Etc. If it continues take her to your doctor and as him/her to make sure she is okay. like blood samples or what ever.



It could be nothing. But Better to be safe than sorry.



GL

Answer 14

maybe a uti or a yeast infection. my friends little sister apparently had them, she grabbed herself in the supermarket once and said CINDI IT ITCHES! poor lil girl. but also make sure you probe to see if anyone else has touched there but her...you never know, there are horrible people everywhere and you can never be too sure. but i hope its just a yeast infection. those are generally uncomfortable and unfun. i can imagine its worse for a lil girl who has no idea whats wrong down there and is afraid to say anything.

Answer 15

Well it could be a UTI, or she might be getting molested, i hope not but you should always check out all the possibilities. Just ask her, and talk to her doctor.

Answer 16

She could be masturbating. Girls may start her age or younger. It isn't a habit that will be easy to stop completely, but you do need to talk to her about appropriateness and sexual conduct so she doesn't do this out in public.

Answer 17

ask your family doctor could be a medical issue

Answer 18

that migth be a signe of infection, just take her to the doc....



good luck

Answer 19

Ask her. Then talk to her.

Answer 20

she may not be cleaning her self very good and she may have a yeast infection.

Answer 21

She's probably thinking oh, since my parents didnt want me the 1st time, maybe you wont want her too. and i think that she's probably wanting to depend on herself more than others, to keep herself assured that just in case it happens again, she'll be able to take care of herself even though she's still very young.

i would sit her down and have a talk with her.

:) hope everything goes well.