Why is my step daughter still wearind diapers at nite and even using them as a toilet when shes not sleeping? ?

Question

I have three of my own and my youngest being five and havent had to even use a pullup in 2 1/2 years. What can I do?

Answer 1

This may be a jealousy issue with the younger children. She may be trying to stay a small baby/child because they get a lot more attention,or this could just be her perception. If I were you,I would just not give her the pull ups. And when she does this,make her help cleanup the mess instead of you doing it! And make her help do her laundry. Let her see what it's like to deal with all of this. And explain to her she is getting to be a big sister now and needs to be an example to her younger siblings.

Answer 2

If she is only with you on the weekends and holidays there isn't much you can do. If you could work together with her mother to come up with a consistent routine that would be great but . . .



Lots of kids wet the bed at night if she is one and there is nothing wrong then either pull ups or undies at night.



My suggestion would be to have her put on her pull up right before she gets into bed (right after going to the bathroom) If she needs changed in the night or in the morning she should take some responsibility. Help changing the sheets. Take care of her own wet pull up. Carry the wet clothes to the washer or put in designated spot. And take a shower to wash off any residue. If she is wet before she falls asleep and has to shower and has to take another one in the middle of the night it may help her remember to make it to the toilet or at least will help the rash and she won't smell.



Our daughter wet the bed frequently when she was 4. When we started the wet your pants take a shower rule it was a pain for her and she started making it to the toilet on time more frequently.

Answer 3

I would take her to your children's pediatrician and get his/her opinion. It might be time to call Child Services Division and have them investigate what is happening at her mothers house. Sometimes wetting the bed can be a sign of abuse. Best case scenario is the mother is extremely lazy and cannot help this child reach her developmental goals therefore the father may need to obtain legal advice and seek custody. Good luck and that poor little girl.

Answer 4

best thing you can do is get her off of them it is so much better than using a pull up but she wont like it you need to put them on a high shelf where she can't reach don't let her bring any from home it is best for her she will not have any thing to do but use the toilet

Answer 5

That is the same as my brother. My brother is 8 and he wears pull ups to bed still. The doctor said that it was normal and some people do indeed have that problem. He said that he will grow out of it. I know it is weird.

Answer 6

how did they let her in school not potty trained?

Answer 7

family counseling and a visit to the urologist will help. avoid the techniques -you can't fix everything this way. consider hugging her a bit more often and not comparing her to your own.

Answer 8

The dr. may not find anything medically wrong, because when he checks her, it's during the day, when her muscles are more tight, and she's in control of her bladder muscles, but as the evening wears on, so do her muscles, and her ability to control them.

Just let her stay in the pull-ups, and right before she falls asleep, if the first one is already wet, make her change into a new one.

You can try letting her take a long bath before bedtime. It's supposed to help, but not guaranteed.

Answer 9

Good Luck I have a seven yr old who poops his pants daily and the doctors can't find a reason why either. I have had 2 specialist, a therapist for a whole year weekly never missing one visit, and his pediatrician still no answers. We use pull ups full time now.

Answer 10

I think it's time for something to be done but it has to be a partnership between you, her father, her mother, herself and the doctor (he can't just wash his hands of this because there is no medical problem). First, the parents should all sit her down and speak to her about what's going on and how you want to help her so she can enjoy things like sleep overs with friends and wearing nice pyjamas. Perhaps her father can shame her mother into taking an interest by saying she is missing out of sleep over parties, it will become more embarrassing as she grows older and it's not good for her skin to wet continously. As much as it will be hard, perhaps you shouldn't be the one to confront her as she could see it as a challenge and be even more lax and lazy to spite you.



Then you need to go back to the doctor and demand he offers some solutions. He should be able to give you things like reward charts, an alarm which she wears and will ring when she starts to wet herself so she has to get up for the bathroom and perhaps he might prescribe a spray to help bladder control. He should also be able to give advice how to get her into good toileting habits (no caffeinated or fizzy drinks after lunch time while some people say to restrict fluids after 5pm, others say allow the child to drink if they want).

Answer 11

Take away the training pants and hand her regular underwear, wetting panties is alot more uncomfortable than wetting a diaper. She's seven and perfectly capable of changing her own clothes if she has an accident. Don't put sheets on her bed, just a plastic cover or chucks. If she's just being lazy, she'll snap out of it real fast when she realizes that you aren't going change her.

Answer 12

I think your husband needs to talk to his ex and explain that she is not doing the girl any favours and needs to have some routine to help her at home as well - think about it she is going to need to be continent when she is able to go to school camp etc or have a sleepover at a friends place - her mum needs to be consistent with her and see if this will make a difference

If despite all of this she still continues to wet she may need to have another consultation with the doctor to rule out any other causes

Some children respond well to a an underblanket which has an alarm attached to it and lets you know to wake her so that she gets used to passing her urine on the toilet instead of in bed (see website)

It may help also to limit her fluid intake after a certain time eg after 6pm depending on when she normally goes to bed

She is also old enough to reason with some and try and encourage her to not wet in her pullups - perhaps a small reward for not doing so may help and a bigger carrot dangled if she meets small targets

Hope these ideas may help

Some kids also wet because they have been subject to sexual abuse or have intestinal worms - perhaps worth checking out too - especially if her mum has company who stays over

Answer 13

I hate to say it but I don't think the problem is with the little girl. I was ragged on by my mom b/c I waited until my son was 3 to potty train due to the convience of him wearing diapers. It made my life easier. And to put it out there pull-ups is just a fancy name for diaper. A child knows no difference in the feel from my experience with them. u already having 3 other children and from ur story u already know who is at fault. I would say the bio mom hasn't ever really worked with her and all ur efforts r probably fruitless b/c when she goes home u will get no support from her. U can't do it all by urself. More than likely she won't work with u if u tried talking to her about it. If u had more time with her u could probably break her from the habit by urself but one worry I would have is when she went home with her other mother would she put her right back into them. Being a step parent is hard I can understand what ur going through.

Answer 14

Your husband says it's not fair to you but what is he DOING to alleviate the problem? This is HIS child why isn't he doing his JOB as parent and taking care of the problem? You blame the child's mother but her father is just as much at fault as the mother is. You need to be just as frustrated with him as you are with the mother.

Answer 15

i came on here all ready to defend her...but she's 7....so wow. if it's nothing physical then it must be some emotional thing.

Answer 16

She needs a mother to help her get through this, her dad probley doesnt know what to do but her mom or you have to have patience and not get mad cause if she gets scared then it might get worse, just dont give her fluids at least a couple hours before she goes to bed and take her washroom before bed and wake her up when u got to the washroom in the middle of night so she can go, she probley only wear's pull-ups cause no one has the time to remind her to go herself.

Answer 17

Well, telling us her age would be helpful. Is she way past potty training age. Or has she just finished potty training? There are many reasons she could be doing this, but without more info it is hard to give a good answer.

Answer 18

She could have a congential problem with her bladder (two of my three girls did, and now both of my granddaughters do). Or she could be regressing due to the remarriage of her father. What does her pediatrician say?



As to what you can do....no fluids after 5pm, bathroom right before bed, wake her up and take her to the toilet before you go to bed. Be understanding, she's not doing this just to piss you off. First step, take her to a doctor and find out if she has a bladder/kidney infection or some other problem.



Most girls who bedwet at night stop when they start maturing. Mine did.

Answer 19

how old is she?

Answer 20

You need to sit down and talk to her mother and explain the situation. Do not be judgmental but sympathetic on how you both can work together to resolve this situation. In the end she is her mother. Good luck.