How do you get your kids to listen and behave well without spanking them?

Question

I have two boys 12 and 6 and they seem to fight constantly. Lately it has just gotten worse. I am a single parent without any help or involvement from their other parent. I do not want to spank my children if I can avoid it, but all the things my parents tried with me do not work on them. Any suggetions would be helpful.

Answer 1

Spare the rod spoil the child, but if you insist on not spanking them then, take there favorite things away from them.

Answer 2

12 is too old for spanking to have any real effect anyway.



You might want to seek out a mentor or family friend as a role model for your boys, especially your older one. This can be a woman or man, but if you're a single mom I suggest male. He's not going to be much for listening to you these days anyway, and it's only going to get worse. But a guide who can help him see the larger picture will pay off in dividends with your younger child.

Answer 3

welcome to my world :)



I have a 7 year old and a 13 year old that do the same thing. Except I am married. Either way single or not boys will be boys. We have done this. Your oldest should be the responsible one, in other words, he can prevent most of this stuff since a six year old does not have the emotional skills to relize what is going on and how to stop it.



We sat down with our 13 year old and said, "you are 13, you are much, much older than your little brother. He looks up to you and it is your job to help raise him to become a good kid. he learns from you. Now, if you want to be treated as a 13 year old and do what you want on the weekends and not stay home with us, I suggest that you start stopping the behavior. Help your little brother, and explain to him rather than yell at him."



The hitting, yelling and arguing has gone down. He gets to hang out on weekends with his friends premitting that he remains the way he is, helping to raise his brother.



Remember when there is the "baby" of the family that child looks at the older ones as a role model. Once the older one sees that it might help/

Answer 4

I don't allow my kids to physically hurt each other, but when they are fighting, my husband and I have decided that we will deprive them of our presence and make them work out things on their own. In our small house, that means we hang out in our room or the bathroom.



We also read the book _How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & How to Listen So Kids Will Talk_ by Adele Faber. I think she has a book on sibling rivalry as well.

Answer 5

I listened to a story about like this on the radio. Listen to what one mother did by going to

www.thislife.org

Click 05

Scroll down to Episode 303: David and Goliath

Click the ra (realaudio) button to listen

Answer 6

Talk to then firmly. Letting the tone of your voice deepen letting the child know you're not playing around

Answer 7

when they want something don"t accept instantly and tell them that they have to be good a period ( one hour, one day ),and so..