Was letting my 5 year old pierce her ears a bad call?

Question

I wasn't exactly comfortable letting her, but she has wanted them since she was 3, so I told myself to stop being overprotective.

The piercing didn't go too bad, we'd discussed how it happens beforehand and she was still up for it.

It kind of went no problem til she got the first one, ow ow ow ow ow (woman went to do the other) not yet not yet not yet (put hands over her eyes) ok just do it but don't tell me when.

It is now the middle of the night and they are still wild sore, she can't sleep because every time one of them touches the pillow she wakes up.

While she insists she did the right thing because she says the earrings holes are "there for good" and they will still be there when the pain stops, I feel terrible.

Answer 1

I have never understood allowing tiny children to have their ears pierced. Why would anyone allow their child to go through completely unnecessary pain, only to look like a Chav?

Answer 2

It sounds like your daughter isn't unhappy about having had it done. Just make sure that you are actively caring for/cleaning her new piercings, because there's no way that a five year old can properly take care of them.



If the pain is so bad that she can't sleep, give her some childrens' pain reliever to help.



I don't have any problem with allowing a child to have her ears pierced once she's old enough to ask for them. It's not as though you had it done when she was a baby and gave her no choice in the matter. My mother made me wait until I was 12 to have my ears pierced - I had wanted them since kindergarten, but she wanted me to be a certain age before I had them done. I have always wished that I would have been allowed to have them sooner, but it obviously doesn't matter anymore.

Answer 3

Your daughter seems to understand the situation very well and is willing to deal with it. It is normal for newly pierced ears to be swollen and tender for a day or two. Check her earrings to be sure they are as loose as possible and not pinching her ears. Loosen them if you can. After a few days your daughter will get used to wearing earrings all the time and will not lose any sleep because of them. Just be sure she cleans and turns them two or three times every day. You may need to help her with this, but this will also give you an opportunity to check them to be sure they ar healing OK and there is no infection.



Read the last part of your post again. Your daughter insists she did the right thing. She is happy her ears are pierced and her holes are "there for good." Instead of feeling terrible you should share her happiness on her rite of passage to pierced ears.

Answer 4

simple answer- yes it's cute but some people see it as cruel, you are causing the child pain so that you can get the pleasure of seeing them with Pretty ears" did the child choose to have that done? or did you force the child to do it? is not having the earrings going to deprive the child of something? do you need to control the child that much? it can cause a health problem, it is painful and scary to a child. yes it is only a short pain that the child will most likely not remember but....its really disrespectful to the child if you think about it. is that child a person that will someday grow up to be great? or you own personal doll to dress and decorate?

Answer 5

I would not have let her do it at her age. Yes, I understood she "wanted it", I have had my children tell me at that age they they wanted everything from a fire truck to a dinosaur. You don't give them everything that they want. As the parent you have to decide what is best.



That being said, it's done, you can't go back and undo it. Ear piercing is generally safe as long as it is done by a licensed piercing business. Keep her ears clean and watch for signs of infection, but her ears should heal in a few days.

Answer 6

I wouldn't worry about it too much, just make sure you clean them very good at least twice a day {maybe when she first gets up and right before she goes to bed}, and wait until they're fully healed. If they continue to be a problem, take her to her doctor or to the emergency room to see if they may be infected {wait at least 8 to 12 weeks after having them pierced} and what can be done about it, other than taking them out and not putting them back in. She really wanted her ears pierced, so don't break her heart by having to take them out.



My niece had just turned 4, and two of my nephews were just a little over 1 and almost 3 when their parents let me take them to get their ears pierced. The two boys still have their ears pierced and they haven't been a problem for them, they're now just over 2 and almost 4. The girl, however, had to have hers taken out, and she was fine with this, because they got infected. I got my ears pierced around the same time I had theirs done {I had never wanted my ears pierced until then}, and mine haven't gotten infected. Except for the one year old, of course, they were told about the pinch and I even demonstrated the pinch they would feel with my index and thumb nails. They were fine with this and wanted their ears pierced, so I took them to do so.



Again, just make sure you keep the earrings and the holes in her ears clean, and WITHIN two weeks they should be fine. **Not sure how long ago her ears were pierced...?**



Hope this helps =D



EDIT: Kids are smart. Unless you have a child that you actually raise properly to be the best they can be, no one will know how smart they can really be. My niece was talking better than some teenagers and adults I knew when she was 2 years old. Carrying on a conversation like no other, and not jibberish, either. My nephew, her brother, knew how to count from one to ten in English and Spanish when he was 2, and knew all of his colors in English and most of them in Spanish at the same age. Kids have feelings, too, and know what they want and a lot of times what they need. My niece and her brother understand that what they need comes before what they want, and they know the difference between the two. You seem like a very good mother because your daughter sounds intelligent just from what you've wrote here. So don't be the bad mom and make her take them out just because you're worried that you did the wrong thing. Take them out as a last resort and explain to her what had happened, about an infection, etc. If that is the case. =D

Answer 7

One pearcing per ear for girls is the social norm in most western countries so as long as it doesn't go beyond that (like two holes in each etc.) untill she is really mature enough to make such a serious decision (like 16) then you really did nothing wrong.



Ear pearcing does hurt and her ears are small and tender so it may hurt for longer but the pain will go and make sure she knows that. Make sure you follow all the hygeine instructions the piercer gave you as it is very easy for them to get infected. For safety I would stick to stud earings untill she is older in case dangly ones get ripped out in rough play.

Answer 8

She'll be fine.

One thing I did do was make my girls keep the starter earrings in for a whole year . . . I know It was torture they couldn't switch earrings every day to match there outfits . . . but they didn't get infected lobes like some friends did.

They were totally healed before they got to put in cheap earrings in that they might have been allergic to. and they were a year older that helped with the responsibility of taking care of them.

Answer 9

I had mine done when I was four. I begged and begged my mom. The girl next door had some so I wanted some too. I had terrible infections in them. But I lived. So will she. Just take care of them and they will be fine.

When I was in college I went to get my second set of holes done. I almost fainted on the first one. Age has nothing to do with it.

If she is fine with it, then you should be too.

Answer 10

personally i don't think its right at such a young age, purely because there still young and haven't developed yet in there skill their still learning about pain.

But as you have done it for me it took about 2-3 day before it stop being really sore, (i was 12) use the solution they gave you and i used ice to cool it done because its a kind of burning feeling.

Hope your 5 year old gets better x

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Answer 12

If she wants to then what is the problem? I see alot of people arguing on here about getting the done at birth and alot say they will wait untill they ask for them,



when u got it done u should have let them do them both at the same time! Trust me that works well with little kids!

Answer 13

Just make sure you LOOSEN the backs of the earrings....when they put them on they actually are put on TOO TIGHT.

She'll be fine...but I am betting some ice cream might help that pain a bit. :)

Answer 14

Personally I don't think a 5 year old is mature enough to know the consequences of body modification. She probably just thought, "Wow! Earrings are cute! I want them!" I would have waited until she was a bit older, or given her clip-on earrings, but I give you kudos for at least giving her the decision to have them pierced unlike lots of mothers that get their baby's ears pierced without their consent.

Answer 15

She'll be all right. It seems like 95% of women (and lots of men too) have ears pierced once if not multiple times. She seems happy with it and she'll be fine in a week. Just make sure you use it as an opportunity to learn good ear hygiene!

Answer 16

probably. but what's done is done ^_^. the best thing to do now is let her either know you support her, ie comfort her, tell her she looks beautiful and grown up kind-of thing, or tell her that you told her it was a bad idea and play the "mum is always right" card. obviously it depends on what kind of mother you want to be

Answer 17

Aw don't feel bad! Lots of mothers get their daughters ears pierced from the age of 1 which people disagree with but they don't remember the experience which was my case and i don't regret it bcos i don't remember it. It seems like your daughter's strong willed and she'll get through a few nights of the pain because she knows she has them 'forever' bless her :)

Answer 18

no,don't worry much it's normal.my daughter had it when she was 3 months old and she's fine.just comfort her and assure her that everything will be alright and maybe you could give her a pain reliever too.

Answer 19

Well now ask yourself...





What lesson did you teach your child with this?



Or what lesson did she teach you?



My take is that she is adventuresome and a hot cookie. I like strong women, so I am fine with it.

Answer 20

Don't feel terrible! that is a good age cause whren they get older they freak out too easy. lol like me. i got them young like at 1 yr. you did the right thing.

Answer 21

no thats fine. i got mine when i was 1. the pain is normal. try giving her something for the pain or try puting ice on it

Answer 22

Next time don't let a small child goad you into doing things..Since she was 3? F'ing please. At that age she has no idea about anything.